Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Wanted: Functional brain

I have often longed for a brain that remembered everything. It would be nice not to have a constant need to write notes to myself.

Doctors, dentists and other businesses must realize they deal with memory-challenged patients and customers like me. I love when they e-mail messages and text reminders.

Whoever thought of doing that is a genius!

Unfortunately, my brain often doesn't comply. It likes going rogue.

It's not as simple as walking into a room and forgetting what I went in there for. Or staring blankly at my paper strewn desk and wondering what the heck I need to finish next.

For example. I recently had two appointments in one week. Dutiful office assistants had sent my e-mail reminders. The appointments were duly noted in my paper brain. Yes, I still live and breath by my Daytimer calendar. Don't judge me.

Everything was perfect. Right?

Wrong.

Things went haywire when I arrived at my dentist appointment and discovered, much to my embarrassment, that I wasn't scheduled for two more days.

Trying to fix my royal mess, I called my eye clinic to fess up. Of course, they wondered where I was. My brain had taken a train to I-don't-know-what-I'm-doing land.

Shazbot! (Anyone who knows what that word means is familiar with 1970s TV because it's a swear word Robin Williams' character used on the old sitcom, "Mork & Mindy."

Have you ever wanted a new brain?

Maybe I should look for one on the planet Ork. (Mork & Mindy again.)

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